


The Fading of the Light

by idrilhadhafang



Series: The Fading of the Light-verse [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Babies, Childbirth, F/M, Fix-It, Force Healing, Force Healing (Star Wars), Near Death In Childbirth, Padmé Amidala Lives, Suicidal Thoughts, mentions of being on suicide watch
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:14:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27112439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: Padme survives — thanks to Force Healing.
Relationships: Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker, Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker | Darth Vader, Padmé Amidala/Darth Vader
Series: The Fading of the Light-verse [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2017024
Comments: 4
Kudos: 20
Collections: Bad Day Collection





	The Fading of the Light

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: Don’t dabble in prequel fic often now. Be gentle. Title from “Evermore” from the 2017 Beauty and the Beast.

“Obi-Wan...there is still good in him. I know there is...still...”

Even as she lay in the medbay bed in Polis Massa, Padme Amidala knew that it was selfish, but she was ready to die. She was just so tired, not only physically but emotionally, like her heart was barely managing to beat. Her democracy was dead. Anakin, her wonderful Anakin, was good as dead. The Jedi Order was finished. And she felt...she felt like she was good as dying. 

But Obi-Wan wasn’t ready to give up yet. 

”Padme,” he said, “Hold on...”

There was energy all but pouring into her. Energy. Forcing her to live, strengthening her; it was like it was commanding her. And as she shuddered awake, looked up at Obi-Wan, she looked up at him, suddenly as frightened of him as she was of Anakin. 

”How could you, Obi-Wan?” she said. 

”Padme...I know it hurts. I know that more than anything. I lost a brother that day. But the galaxy still needs you. Your children need you." Obi-Wan swallowed as he spoke. “You’re needed by so many, and so much.”

Padme sat up; she was already exhausted from the birth, from Obi-Wan saving her from the brink of death. “I...I just wish he killed me,” she said. “He good as killed me there, on that planet. It’s so selfish...is it so selfish to want to die, when your galaxy’s under a dictatorship, and the man you loved became a monster?”

”No, Padme. It isn’t.”

Obi-Wan didn’t hug her, but there was something about him just sitting next to her, his eyes soft and understanding, that was almost comforting. Just for a moment. 

***

Padme never thought she would essentially be on suicide watch now that she was brought back, but they’d stripped away anything that would harm her. Any neckties, ribbons, belts, sharp objects, anything — and Obi-Wan was watching her. 

"I don’t like this,” she said. It reminded her too much of being forced into hiding with Anakin, now that she thought about it. Being restrained, being confined — she hated it, even if it was necessary. 

“I know,” Obi-Wan said. Then, “I thought...the Jedi Code forbids attachments, but I found them anyway. In you, yes, but...also Anakin." He took a shuddering breath. “I never wanted this to happen. I thought that I wouldn’t get attached to Anakin, but...he was so much like my brother.”

”What happened to him, on Mustafar?” Padme dreaded the answer. 

Obi-Wan told her. 

”You left him there?” she said. “Obi-Wan, how could you? He looked up to you like a father!”

”I _know_.” Obi-Wan sounded frustrated even as he spoke. "I should have saved him; it would have been the Jedi thing to do. I...didn’t want to hurt him. I thought I was certain when he hurt you but...” A shaky breath. “I also thought I could change his mind.”

Padme glared at him. Then, “You’re a better man than this.”

”I know.” Then, “He killed younglings, Padme...”

”Tell me something I don’t know!” Padme said. 

Of course, on cue, one of the babies — Leia — started crying and Padme slipped over towards the medical droid to cradle her to her chest. “It’s okay, Leia,” she whispered. “Mama’s got you. Mama’s gonna keep you safe.”

She didn’t know how, of course. She thought that she was ready to have children. Anakin’s children, a half of both of them. It felt like just yesterday that she was standing on a balcony brushing her hair, Anakin looking at her like she was the stars in the sky — and she was talking about the baby and its room (and how was she supposed to know she was having twins?).

She was so certain. She had been so sure. She had had visions of them, with their cousins, with their grandparents and their aunt. Fields of green on Naboo.

How had it gone so wrong, even for a forbidden affair?

***

Speaking with Breha, with Bail, with Obi-Wan and Threepio...except for Threepio, who seemed oblivious to the whole thing in that innocent way only Threepio could be, Padme doubted she had ever seen people more defeated-looking. 

”We need a plan,” Padme said. She knew she wasn’t quite right, but it sounded like the most natural thing to do. Reverting to old habits. “Luke and Leia and I...I need to take care of them. Protect them from...Anakin.”

Bail spoke. “Anakin’s...allied himself with Palpatine.”

”It’s my fault," Padme said. "He thought he could save me...”

She didn’t miss the way Yoda’s ears drooped, the way his eyes clenched shut. 

”Better advice, I should have given him,” Yoda said. "But dwell on regrets we must not. A plan, we must make. Confront the Emperor again, I must not. Not until stronger, more learned, I am."

"I’m not taking the children to Naboo,” Padme said. "Anakin will be looking for them there. We need a place that...he can’t go.”

***

Padme never thought she would land on Tatooine again. Sand, in contrast to green. It felt like a betrayal of Anakin to do — but she wasn’t about to go to Jakku to raise her children, and she had to keep them safe somehow. 

"We buried Shmi Skywalker there,” Padme said to Obi-Wan. 

"You did.” Obi-Wan said. “Maybe Luke and Leia...they’ll be a chance to give something, anything, back to the galaxy.”

Padme had a feeling that yes, they would. 


End file.
